Let’s get real.

In today’s leadership culture, especially in healthcare and consulting, we’re praised for wearing all the hats. We’re expected to know everything, be at every table, respond to every fire, and keep everyone else from falling apart. And sure, some of us have learned to delegate. We’ve hired well. We’ve built systems. We’ve studied leadership.

But even when we delegate the task, many of us still carry the weight. That internal pressure—the silent expectation—that we should be everything to everyone. That if we just do a little more, we can hold it all together for everyone else. That voice that whispers: “They need you. Don’t drop the ball. Don’t disappoint.”

And let’s call it what it is: burnout with a smile on it.

I see it in other women leaders constantly. I see it in myself sometimes. We’ve come a long way with “I am woman, hear me roar” but let’s be honest: that roar often comes with a side of people-pleasing. That softer side that doesn’t want to let anyone down. That reflex to say “yes” even when we know it should be a “no.”

And in healthcare? That tendency gets weaponized.

We serve people for a living. Whether you’re a behavioral health provider, consultant, or executive, you are in a business built on compassion. And guess what? Compassionate leaders burn out hard when they don’t recognize the warning signs early.

So what can you do?

Here are the truths I’ve learned and shared with clients and colleagues that help protect your leadership energy without losing your impact:

1. Know the difference between being responsible for people and being responsible to people.
   You are responsible to your team. To show up. To lead. To communicate clearly. To deliver the vision. But you are not responsible for everyone’s reactions, emotions, and sense of self-worth. That’s where burnout creeps in—when we take on other people’s outcomes as our burden.
2. You can care deeply and still set boundaries.
   Boundaries are not walls; they are filters. They protect your energy, your mission, and your creativity. If you say yes to every meeting, every project, every ask—you say no to your sanity. And no one will say thank you for that.
3. Watch for "silent suffering" in your leadership.
   The most exhausted leaders I meet are the ones who are silently shouldering the load no one sees. They’re functioning, hitting goals, showing up with a smile but they’re bleeding out behind the scenes. The longer you wait to admit it, the worse the recovery.
   
   If your sleep is off, your creativity is gone, your patience is fried; pay attention. That’s not just stress. That’s the cost of carrying too much for too long.
4. Redefine success: It’s not “they needed me” it’s “they didn’t need me today.”
   One of the most powerful shifts I made as a business owner and leader was learning to celebrate when I wasn’t needed. That meant I’d built systems, trained leaders, and let go of the myth that I had to be the sun in everyone’s sky. It’s a constant battle though so I admit I’m not perfect on this one.
   
   5. Talk about it. Out loud. In your circles.
   Burnout thrives in silence. The more we talk about it especially as high-performing women the more we normalize the human side of leadership. And the more we model what real leadership looks like: sustainable, supported, and honest.

Final Thought: You’re Not Lazy. You’re Exhausted. There’s a difference.

So if you’re tired, and you’ve been ignoring the signs, consider this your permission slip to pause. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for protecting your peace. Leadership isn’t about martyrdom—it’s about modeling what it looks like to build something sustainable and live a life worth having.

So here’s to all the leaders out there trying to do it all: You don’t have to. And the sooner you stop trying, the better leader you’ll become.